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1.

En pige vader ind i et supermarked, og køber følgende:



1 stykke sæbe

1 tandbørste

1 tube tandpasta

1 lille franskbrød

1 liter mælk

1 æble

1 banan

1 appelsin

1 blomme

1 fersken

1 grapefrugt

1 tomat

1 liter juice

1 glas syltetøj

1 bage kartoffel

1 kringle

1 pakke smør

1 rundstykke

1 müsli bar

1 tærte

1 lille pose kaffe

1 frossen færdigret

1 frossen pizza



Manden ved kassen kigger på hende, og siger smilende:

"single, hva´ ?"



Pigen smiler kælent tilbage og svarer:

"hvordan kunne du gætte det?"



Han svarer:

"fordi du er pisse grim!"





---------------------------------------





2.

To bøsser elsker i parken om natten. Det er mørkt som i graven, og de

siger

til hinanden:

- "Jeg elsker dig."

- "Jeg elsker også dig."

- "Du er fantastisk."

- "Det er du også."

- "Lad os altid mødes her igen."

- "Ja, hver dag - jeg bor i København."

- "Jeg også. I Voldgade..."

- "Utroligt, det gør jeg også ?!? I nummer 150"

- "Det er ikke muligt - det gør jeg også...!?!

- "Palle..?"

- "Far..?"



---------------------------------------------

4.

En mand ankommer til sin yndlingsrestaurant, og bliver hurtigt henvist til

sit stambord.



Da han får menu-kortet bemærker han en død-sexet og meget smuk kvinde bare

2 borde henne, og hun sidder også alene.



Han beslutter sig for at kalde tjeneren hen.



"Gider du sende sådan en flaske..."siger han, pegende i menu-kortet på

husets dyreste flaske hvidvin i menu-kortet "...over til hende ved det

bord, og sige at den er fra mig?" spørger han tjeneren, idet han stopper

en

to-hundrede-lap diskret i tjenerens brystlomme.



Det gør tjeneren selvfølgelig, og kort efter ser manden tjeneren styre hen

mod kvinden med den dyre flaske vin på bakken. Kvinden kigger hen på vores

mand, men istedet for at lade tjeneren åbne vinen, lader hun den stå på

sit

bord, og rækker tjeneren en seddel.



Tjeneren går direkte hen til vores mand, og rækker ham sedlen.



Hvis jeg skal acceptere den flaske vin fra dig, så skal du have en

Mercedes

i garagen, 10 millioner på bankkontoen, og 18 centimeter i dine bukser.



Kort efter vender tjeneren tilbage til kvindens bord med en seddel. Hun

folder den ud...



Kære frøken,



I min garage befinder der sig to Ferrari F40'er,en Ferrari F50, en

Mercedes

S600 og en JaguJaguar XJ12.



På min bankkonto befinder der sig over 90 millioner kroner.



Men jeg er fand'me ligeglad med hvor lækker du er - jeg skærer sgu ikke 10

centimeter af sjoveren for din skyld. Bare send vinen retur !!!!!



Spar penge på din forsikring

Kommentarer på:  Lidt at grine af
  • #1   6. sep 2007 HAHA av min mave Total grineflip :-)))

  • #2   6. sep 2007
    he he :o) Meeeer meeeeeeeeer!!!!


  • #3   6. sep 2007 Thi hi hi.... ja så kan de jo lærer det....

  • #4   6. sep 2007 Totalt fed den sidste smiley

  • #5   6. sep 2007 hehehehe lol... ja de var nu gode... den med faren og sønner var godt nok lidt klam men sjov.. hihi

  • #6   6. sep 2007 Hehe...

    Men du glemte at skrive nr. 3 smiley


  • #7   6. sep 2007 HAhaha, den sidste var godt nok kanon! Men ja, bed også mærke i der manglede en 3'er, kommer den? smiley

  • #8   6. sep 2007 den med singlen var sejest

  • #9   6. sep 2007 The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making Love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset.

    "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!

    And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."

    "Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

    And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

    Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same."

    The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"


  • #10   6. sep 2007 Jakob lol hehehe ja man skal finde sig i meget...

  • #13   6. sep 2007 Ja, sådan er det....
    smiley

    HER DIARY
    Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

    Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too."

    When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried.

    I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



    HIS DIARY
    Today the Giants lost, but at least I got laid.


  • #14   6. sep 2007 hshahahahahahahaha ja der skal ikke meget til at få de mænd på afveje... og hvor er det andt vi kvinder har det med at hænge os i bagateller...

  • #15   6. sep 2007 Vi tager lige en mere...

    A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

    He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

    "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.

    "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

    The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.

    "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car"

    "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

    The husband continued.. "Do you remember ! when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

    "I remember that too" she replied softly.

    He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today".

    Wife : #@%*&@%#!!!


  • #16   6. sep 2007 "Palle"....? "Far"...?

    LOL Ej den var da ulækker. LOL :OP


  • #17   6. sep 2007 Jakob: Den med den fattige, beskidte pige - den er sku for sej. :OP LOL......

  • #18   7. sep 2007 Jeg har lige givet min kone et nyt køkken, og gjort alt for, at det skulle glæde både hende og mig.

    Alligevel kom hun ind i stuen i dag og brokkede sig.

    Resultat - jeg måtte droppe 10 minutter af fodboldkampen, for at gøre kæden kortere.


  • #19   7. sep 2007 lo.... hold da op.... jeg er sku færdig a grin... hehe..

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