En lille historie... {{forumTopicSubject}}
Good Sex Life
A husband leans over to his wife in a bar and says, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over 50 years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
"Yes," she says. "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good, idea!" she says.
There's a man sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
So he follows them behind the tavern. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly, they erupt into the most furious sex that the man has ever seen. This goes on for about 40 minutes. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.
The man is amazed. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. As the couple passes the man, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
The old man says, "Fifty years, ago that wasn't an electric fence."
aug 2005
Følger: 131 Følgere: 137 MC-er: 4 Emner: 518 Svar: 21.272
Ikke så sært de kom i stødet....
(...undskyld)
okt 2007
Følger: 8 Følgere: 8 MC-er: 4 Emner: 9 Svar: 39
riiimelig lang historie for en lille dårlig pointe
:o(
aug 2005
Følger: 131 Følgere: 137 MC-er: 4 Emner: 518 Svar: 21.272
Det har du bare ikke forstået:-)
Det er helt som med de gamle i historien - når man kommer lidt op i årene, så tager de gode ting tid, også selv om det er små ting
...jøsses 40 minutter op ad et elektrisk hegn!
dec 2005
Følger: 190 Følgere: 182 MC-er: 3 Emner: 203 Svar: 4.589
aug 2005
Følger: 55 Følgere: 54 MC-er: 2 Emner: 163 Svar: 5.018
Code of Ethics
A woman visiting her doctor’s office suddenly blurts out, “Doctor, kiss me!” The doctor looks at her and says that it would be against his code of ethics to kiss her.
About 20 minutes later the woman shouts again, “Doctor, please, kiss me just once!” Again he refuses apologetically but says that as a doctor he simply cannot kiss her.
Finally another 15 minutes pass, and the exasperated woman pleads with the doctor, “Doctor, doctor, please kiss me just once!”
“Look,” says the doctor. “I am sorry. I just can’t kiss you. In fact, I probably shouldn’t even be screwing you.”
aug 2005
Følger: 47 Følgere: 44 MC-er: 4 Emner: 32 Svar: 3.496
dec 2005
Følger: 190 Følgere: 182 MC-er: 3 Emner: 203 Svar: 4.589
aug 2005
Følger: 47 Følgere: 44 MC-er: 4 Emner: 32 Svar: 3.496
dec 2005
Følger: 190 Følgere: 182 MC-er: 3 Emner: 203 Svar: 4.589
dec 2005
Følger: 190 Følgere: 182 MC-er: 3 Emner: 203 Svar: 4.589
aug 2005
Følger: 55 Følgere: 54 MC-er: 2 Emner: 163 Svar: 5.018
Birthday Wife
Rich was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't have a clue what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."
His buddy said, "I have an idea - why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it - she'll probably be thrilled."
So that's what Rich did.
The next day at the bar his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"
"Yes, I did," said Joe.
"Did she like it?" His buddy asked.
"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"
aug 2005
Følger: 55 Følgere: 54 MC-er: 2 Emner: 163 Svar: 5.018
dec 2005
Følger: 190 Følgere: 182 MC-er: 3 Emner: 203 Svar: 4.589
aug 2005
Følger: 131 Følgere: 137 MC-er: 4 Emner: 518 Svar: 21.272
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"
Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"
aug 2005
Følger: 131 Følgere: 137 MC-er: 4 Emner: 518 Svar: 21.272
A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?"
"Yes," he answered.
She asked, "Does it work?"
"Yes," he answered.
"Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.
"I can if I take two," he answered.
aug 2007
Følger: 38 Følgere: 41 MC-er: 2 Emner: 46 Svar: 935
found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I
understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in
male semen?"
"That's correct," responded the Prof, going on to add statistical
info.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste
sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor
girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she
had
inadvertently said, she picked up her books without a word and walked
out of class, never to return.
However, as she was going out the door, the Prof's reply was
classic....
Totally straight-faced he answered her question: "It doesn't taste
sweet
because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue
and not the back of your throat."
aug 2005
Følger: 131 Følgere: 137 MC-er: 4 Emner: 518 Svar: 21.272
Two buddies are bull-shiting over a few beers when one of them says something that would be considered a Freudian slip. He also recalls his the last slip he had where he asked the gorgeous big breasted travel agent for two "Pickets to Titsburgh".
His buddy says, yeah I know what you mean, last week while at breakfast with my wife, I meant to say, "honey please pass the milk".
But what came out of my mouth was, "You Fucking Bitch, you ruined my Life".
aug 2005
Følger: 55 Følgere: 54 MC-er: 2 Emner: 163 Svar: 5.018
A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.
The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."
En lille historie...